


in this moment (it's you and me)

by byunderella



Series: for daquad-love, trin [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 1/12 of daquad's xmas drabbles, 2park being dumb about their feelings bc they're never not dumb, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Woojin is whipped in every single universe i write 2park in, i wrote this before they wrote their letters to each other and now im even more emo, not xmas themed but i'm fulfilling reena's request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 10:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13097970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byunderella/pseuds/byunderella
Summary: Jihoon is a burning fire, and with every growing second Woojin fears his shallow water isn't enough to protect them both from the damage





	in this moment (it's you and me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [daquad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daquad/gifts).



> this is the first of twelve daquad drabbles i've written for christmas!
> 
> for [reena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeminhyoongi/pseuds/leeminhyoongi)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No one is used to it.

 

The members know that Woojin and Jihoon love to bicker; there wasn’t a time they _weren’t_ butting heads. But even then, they knew that the two of them were practically soulmates. They could argue all they want but in the end it didn’t change the fact that they were best friends. Somehow they were the ones who understood each other the best despite being at each other’s throats all the time. They all know it’s never anything serious; for the most part it’s just playful banter because Woojin likes to rile Jihoon up and Jihoon is competitive and doesn't back down from an attack.

 

But for the past week it’s been different; the dynamic between the two had shifted noticeably and there’s an unsettling feeling that hovers over the entire apartment. They’re usually attached by the hip in the dorms, yet lately they weren’t so much as seen within a meter radius of each other unless they absolutely had to be. Woojin spent all of his time in Daehwi’s room and Jihoon never left his.

 

Jihoon is silent. Even more so than usual, changing the subject every time someone so much as hints that they’re trying to bring up the Woojin situation. And Woojin seems to be just as clueless when Daehwi tries to get something out of him.

 

“I don’t know why he’s being aloof with me okay? He just is.” Daehwi has never seen Woojin so frustrated before, and he’s starting to worry that eventually one of them is going to burst with all of their pent up anger and say something they’re going to regret. Woojin is a nervous wreck, and it’s not the first time, but it’s never been to this extent before. Daehwi knows that Woojin is genuinely scared to lose Jihoon; he knows how much of an impact Jihoon has made on his life, how much he’s grateful to have met someone who matches him so well. And now he thinks that if he doesn’t figure out what’s wrong soon, he’ll lose that special bond that keeps him so grounded, so _content_.

 

“Are you sure you didn’t say or do anything that could have made him like this?” Daehwi questions again, though he can tell that Woojin is getting tired of everyone trying to force a question on him that he doesn’t know the answer to. But he’s not too sure how much longer he can watch Woojin lose his mind over this.

 

“I said I don’t know!” Woojin stands up from Daehwi’s bed, running his hands down his face as he walks over to Sungwoon’s bed and sitting on the edge of it, burying his face into his hands. “I didn’t do anything, Daehwi. I promise. I have no fucking idea why he won’t talk to me.”

 

“Okay, I believe you.” Daehwi breathes out, calming an angry Woojin down. “It’s just—I’ve never seen you guys so distant with each other. You’re literally never without each other in the dorms, and I’m worried about Jihoon too, having to hold in whatever he’s dealing with. You know how damaging that is.”

 

It’s no secret to anyone really that Woojin has been pining like hell after Jihoon since the beginning of Wanna One, and neither is the fact that Jihoon obviously feels the same way. As much as it kills Daehwi watching Woojin be clueless, he wants to keep hoping that he’ll eventually be able to figure it out on his own. Woojin always feels a lot better about himself when he figures things out without anyone having to yell it out for him and Daehwi wants to respect that, no matter how frustratingly long it’s taking.

 

Come mid-week of the second week of Jihoon-free days, Woojin has just about had it with Jihoon’s withdrawnness and stomps up to him one night in the dorms, demanding an explanation.

 

“Okay, Park Jihoon. I gave you an entire week to tell me on your own but I’m getting tired of not knowing what I’ve done wrong.” Woojin bursts into his and Jihoon’s room, words directed right at the blonde who is coincidentally coming down from his top bunk at the same time, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix things if you don’t tell me what I did.”

 

“You didn’t do anything.” Jihoon says offhandedly, attempting to walk past him but Woojin grabs a hold of his arms and spins around to keep Jihoon from leaving.

 

“Don’t lie to me.” Woojin sighs, dropping his hand from his hold on Jihoon’s arm, raking a hand through his hair, “You wouldn't be acting like this if I didn’t fuck up somehow.”

 

“I told you, it’s nothing.” Jihoon grits through his teeth, his clenched jaw indicating his growing frustration. But it’s not like he’s the only one frustrated, Woojin thinks he has the right to be, maybe even more than him.

 

“Stop giving me that bullshit, Jihoon.” Woojin growls, rising volume filling the empty air of the room that was once theirs but at the moment only feels like Woojin is intruding a place that isn’t his. “I’m not trying to be negligent, I’m really not. I just need you to help me out here.”

 

Woojin tries to reach for his hand but Jihoon jerks it back in a way that he maybe doesn’t mean to, and Woojin doesn’t mean to feel a surging, aching pain through his body and the tightening knots in his chest but he does, and it weighs his heart down heavily. For a second Woojin sees regret flash across Jihoon’s face, but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared and he’s a lot more indignant now.

 

“I—I just don’t want to talk.” Jihoon maintains firmly. The blonde has always been full of fire, voice full of steel with a gut full of determination. But Woojin’s scared that one day he might burn down the house they’ve built so carefully, like a fire enveloping wood, spreading too quickly to stop—Woojin doesn’t want to lose the home he had found in him.

 

“No, it seems like you don’t trust me.” Woojin states matter-of-factly, hurt lacing his words.

 

Jihoon looks up at him with sad eyes. It looks like there’s so much he wants to say but isn’t letting himself and it’s killing Woojin that not even _he_ can convince him that it's okay to talk to someone—to _him_. Maybe he was never a good enough friend to begin with, he was ridiculous to even think he could deserve more than that.

 

“That’s not it.” Jihoon’s voice grows quieter each time, as opposed to Woojin’s rising anger.

 

“Then why can’t you just tell me?” Woojin lets out exasperatedly, the wear of his dry throat starting to show. “I’m your _best friend_ , what the fuck am I supposed to do if you won’t tell me what’s wrong?” He wants to stay level-headed, he doesn’t mean to overwhelm Jihoon, but the uneasiness is washing over him so vigorously, overpowering the strength he needs to be the water to put out Jihoon’s flames. Now he’s just playing with fire.

 

“Sometimes you don’t have to do anything except give me space.” The blonde remains stubborn until the end.

 

Woojin is tired of trying. He’s _given_ him space, he moved out of his own room just so Jihoon could feel more comfortable if he was angry at him. He thought that he’d eventually find it in him to talk to him about his feelings, but it doesn’t seem like he even _wants_ anything to be fixed. Woojin could spend the entire night trying to coax him into trusting that he would be there to listen to him and be there for him no matter what it was, but Jihoon would never relent. Because he’s Jihoon, and adamancy is his middle name.

 

“You want space? Fine.” Woojin bites the inside of his cheek as he attempts to choke back the sobs threatening to fall out with the tears welling in his eyes. And with that, he walks out of the room and pretends that the sniffles he hears as he’s walking away are just a figment of his imagination.

 

 

+

 

 

Woojin can’t fall asleep that night.

 

He just wants to fall into a slumber, where he doesn’t have to deal with reality, he wants to live in his dreams for as long as they allow him to be happy. But time never ends, and neither does anxiety.

 

He feels bad for insisting that Daehwi hug him to sleep instead of sharing a bed with Jinyoung for one night, because he’s not even the least bit close to falling asleep despite how tired he feels. Nothing feels right, not when he’s walking a line with Jihoon so blurry that he can barely even tell if he’s on the other side anymore.

 

Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed him. It’s not like he didn’t feel guilty, but in that moment the frustration had taken over him and all he wanted more than anything was to understand. He wanted to help Jihoon through whatever was bothering him because that’s what he was supposed to be there for, to be a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen, but Jihoon didn’t seem to want any of that. Jihoon sounded as tired as he looked, like he hadn’t slept properly in day—his dark circles sunken distinctly against his porcelain skin. And even then he was still beautiful, but Woojin doesn’t want him to have to go through that. He wants Jihoon to have countless nights of good sleep and he wants to see his bright smile light up every room he walks into. Woojin doesn’t ever want to see him this broken again.

 

At this point of night Woojin figures that he should at least be doing something useful with his time instead of just lying there, thinking until the gears in his mind stop turning from over-exhaustion. He slips out of Daehwi’s hold carefully—thankful that the younger has yet to wake up from ever restless noise and shift he’s made tonight—and moves towards his own room as quietly as he can to get his laptop. He can’t help but send a glance towards Jihoon’s bed as he’s walking in, but then he realizes that there’s no Jihoon in it. He moves closer to double check and confirms that the bed is empty.

 

Laptop long forgotten, Woojin wanders throughout the rest of the dorm searching for Jihoon, but doesn’t find him anywhere in the living quarters. When he checks the area by the door, he sees that the pair of shoes that are usually placed beside his are missing. A small rush of panic rushes over Woojin as he grabs two jackets (one for himself and one for Jihoon because knowing him, he’s dumb and is probably only in his pajama sweater) out of the closet before heading out.

 

As he’s walking out of their apartment, he thinks about the possible places Jihoon could be. There’s only one place that comes to mind, and Woojin feels like it’ll be the only place he’ll have to search because he doesn’t know what else Jihoon would be doing at 3 in the morning other than overthinking on a swing at the park near their dorm. 

 

And just like he expected, there he is, swinging miserably at the playground as Woojin nears the park. Woojin sighs as he walks towards the older, draping the extra jacket he had taken with him over Jihoon’s shivering figure. Jihoon looks up in surprise, eyes following him as he moves to crouch in front of him. But when Woojin looks up at him, Jihoon turns away before he can even catch his eye and refuses to look at him again.

 

“How could you leave the dorm without a jacket, you idiot.” Woojin says in a light tone that he hopes will relieve the tension from Jihoon’s body, but then he hears a choked sob and realizes that Jihoon is crying, and now he feels a thousand times worse. “Hey.” Woojin tries to lift his chin up but Jihoon pushes him away.

 

Woojin just sighs, ignoring Jihoon’s attempts to keep him away. “Look, I don’t give a fuck about our argument.” He asserts curtly, “Right now all I care about is you and you’re crying so tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Jihoon remains quiet, taking in sharp breaths as he tries to hold back more sobs. Woojin is more patient this time, letting them sit in the silence for a while. At some point his hands find Jihoon’s and hold them tightly, bringing them up to his mouth to blow heat onto his cold hands to warm them up.

 

He doesn’t expect this to be the thing that cracks him, but soon Jihoon’s tears are spilling out, hands moving to cradle his falling head. Woojin immediately moves to pull Jihoon into his embrace, and Jihoon finally relents, wrapping his arms tightly around Woojin’s neck. Woojin calms him down gradually, whispering into the crook of his neck and telling him that he’ll be okay.

 

“I’m scared, Woojin.” Jihoon trembles in his hold and Woojin’s heart breaks a little more with each second that passes. He’s never heard this kind of fragility in Jihoon before. He’s usually so strong, what could have made him this afraid?

 

“Scared of what?”

 

“Well, first of all my company is shit.” Jihoon starts, pulling away from the hug while wiping his tears and Woojin thinks there’s a hint of amusement in his voice despite crying so he chuckles a little, “And after all of this ends, there will be no you and me anymore. It’ll just be you being amazing and successful and then there will be me, and who knows where I’ll be after this.”

 

There’s a lump that grows in Woojin’s throat as Jihoon brings up the fact that they’re temporary. He’s always known, of course—the thought lingers in the back of his mind like a nightmare he can never run away from. But he’s always tried to stay positive, tried to believe that if they just make the most of their time together, then there will be less regrets. But he also knows that no matter what, losing the chance to wake up to Jihoon’s adorable flushed cheeks and and messy hair will always be something he’ll regret. Losing Jihoon is the most daunting thought he’s had.

 

“And on top of that I’m falling deeper in love with you but I know our time is limited.” Woojin’s breath stops with those words. There’s a loud pounding in his ears that’s obscuring all of the background noise and Jihoon’s jagged breaths and the sound of his heart beating are the only things he can hear. He stays still, frozen in place as Jihoon continues, “And even if we were to try this whole thing out it would end too quickly and we’d be pulled apart by schedules and I don’t want to deal with that heartbreak. But maybe that’s just me assuming that we could ever be ‘us’. I don’t want to fall so deep I won’t be able to get out so I’m building walls and I know that’s not fair to you but I really don’t want to lose you as it is, Woojin. If I keep letting my feelings grow I don’t think I’ll be okay for a long time.”

 

Jihoon keeps his face hidden behind his hands, still sniffling as Woojin spends forever trying to take it all in.

 

“Wait.. you like me?” Woojin asks dumbly, though he doesn’t get a response out of Jihoon, “Like, me? You like me? _Me_?”

 

“Are you fucking stupid?” Jihoon snaps with a slight crack in his voice.

 

Woojin opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. This is _Jihoon_ in front of him. A literal fallen angel, adorned with every quality that drives Woojin crazy, makes his heart race like nothing’s ever been able to. And he’s the most frustrating person to ever grace Woojin’s life but he loves the challenge, he loves _him_. Taking in a sharp breath and clapping his hands together, he finally manages to gather his feelings in an organized (enough) manner, “Okay so apparently we’re both in love with each other, so let’s try this thing out.”

 

Jihoon seemingly chokes on air with Woojin’s casual inference of his feelings, but Woojin doesn’t think he’d be able to get him out any other way. And now they’re out there and they’re real and _Jihoon’s_ feelings are real and _wow_. “You.. you what?”

 

“I’m in love with you.” Woojin says like it’s the most obviously thing in the world (and really it is, unless you’re Jihoon) and brings light to the rest of the sentence that Jihoon had seemed to look over. “So let’s try this out.”

 

After Jihoon gets over his shock, he starts to stumble over his words, “We.. we can’t. We only have a year left together, Woojin. Who knows what could happen in that time, and I don’t wanna ruin things. And even if it works out it’ll all fall apart when we disband and I don’t want that to happen. I don't want to lose you after all this.” Jihoon pleads, but this time his puppy eyes aren’t going to get him anywhere because Woojin has already decided.

 

“I want to take a chance with you, Jihoon.” Woojin takes Jihoon’s hands in his again, ‘We don’t know what the future holds for us but I want to live in the now, and right now I want to be with you. _Fuck_ , I really want to be with you.”  

 

Jihoon is still sniffling but he’s much more calm now, searching Woojin’s eyes, “Really?”

 

Woojin smiles softly as he feels Jihoon’s flame subdue with every look of reassurance he gives him, “Really.”

 

Jihoon chews down on his bottom lip, staring down at their hands before saying, “Okay.”

 

Woojin’s smile grows wider, if it’s even possible at this point. His cheeks are really starting to hurt but the pain is overpowered but the joy. “Okay?”

 

Jihoon looks back up at him and Woojin has never been so sure of what he wants, and he wants Jihoon _so much_. “Let’s try this thing out.”

 

Woojin can barely contain his happiness, jumping up onto his feet and putting on some sort of celebratory dance that finally has Jihoon laughing again. He raises his arms up, looking out into the dark sky and screaming into the dead of the night, “DID YOU HEAR THAT WORLD? PARK JIHOON IS MY BOYFRIEN—“

 

Jihoon quickly jumps up to cover Woojin’s mouth, smacking him on the shoulder, “Shut the fuck up we’re literally idols, everyone knows our names! Oh my God.”

 

Woojin shoots him a look, “Wow, I didn’t know you were this conceited. Not _everyone_ knows who we are.“

 

Jihoon sighs hard, “I want to break up.”

 

“It’s been thirty seconds.”

 

“It’s been thirty seconds too long and I can’t handle it.” The blonde says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

Woojin takes a hold of Jihoon’s hands again, grinning at the blush that’s obvious even in the terrible lighting of the playground. “Well, too bad. You’re stuck with me forever.” Jihoon rolls his eyes but doesn’t stop the smile from creeping onto his face. Woojin brings Jihoon’s hand up to his lips, pressing his lips to his knuckles gently. “Now let’s get you inside. If you wake up sick tomorrow we’re gonna get an earful from Jisung once he finds out what happened.”

 

“You mean _you’re_ gonna get an earful.” Jihoon corrects and Woojin’s mouth falls open.

 

“What do you mean me? You’re the idiot who walked out without a jacket.”

 

“And you’re just the idiot,” Jihoon says pointedly, “so I think it’s clear who the dumber one in this relationship is.”

 

Woojin jerks to a stop and then spins on his heel to face Jihoon with a sour look, mouth pressed into a tight-lipped sarcastic smile. “I am _not_ gonna let myself be subjected to this kind of treatment. It’s over.”

 

Jihoon chuckles at the sheer ridiculousness of _them_ , “Did we just break up twice in the span of three minutes?”

 

Woojin shrugs, “Sounds like us.”

 

“I like the sound of us.” Jihoon says candidly and Woojin spins to face him, stepping in front of Jihoon so quickly that Jihoon ends up hitting his nose against Woojin’s shoulder.

 

“You know what I like the sound of?” Woojin leans closer, holding Jihoon’s stare as he watches the older shrink back with every inch he closes. He lowers his voice, eyes drifting down to Jihoon’s lips. “You when you shut up.”

 

He hears the sharp intake of breath Jihoon takes and he thinks he’s succeed in getting to him, until the corner of the blonde’s mouth tugs up, “I can think of one way you can shut me up.”

 

Woojin smirks, “Yeah?”

 

The blonde moves to close the distance, and once he’s ghosting over Woojin’s lips to the point where Woojin is moving forward himself, Jihoon pulls away, “By making me some hot chocolate.” He pats Woojin’s cheek, his smile saccharine sweet, “Let’s go, ex-boyfriend.”

 

Woojin scrunches his nose in annoyance, but let’s Jihoon pull him towards their dorm anyways. “Hey! We’re back together as of this second.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'd also like to mention that it's 100 days with daquad today, as well as my birthday, and i'm very thankful to have met all of you, i love you all ♡
> 
>  
> 
> follow me on twitter [@holywoojin](https://twitter.com/holywoojin) for fic updates and progress threads and leave stuff in my [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/holywoojin)
> 
> p.s. i'm holding a [guessing challenge](https://twitter.com/holywoojin/status/937494169232314374) on my twitter, and the winner gets to request a 2park/chamhwi fic from me! just reply with your guess of how much words i'll write in december!


End file.
